[TRIGGER WARNING: This article details an experience with sexual assault, drug use, and self harm that may be disturbing to some readers. Please proceed with caution.]

Growing up in the suburbs of Oklahoma City, I never felt like I was in the right place. When middle school came around, my parents enrolled me in a school I really didn’t want to go to. I wanted to go to the performing arts school, but somehow I ended up at a preppy school further north. Quickly, I realized my new classmates didn’t understand my love for robots, reptiles and My Chemical Romance…


7 Things I Learned From Playing My First Show

Originally posted on September 14, 2015 via The 405 Magazine (which sadly no longer exists)

1. Anticipation Gives You The Superpower To Slow Down Time

I knew about my show three months prior to the date. Of course, “in three months” sounded like centuries away so I didn’t start really practicing until a month and a half out. I didn’t pick the songs I was going to play until the week of, and during those 7 days, I felt like I was stuck in molasses. …


I don’t know why I said it. His face was sweet and childlike, minus all the neck tattoos. He looked like trouble. I usually like to be the troublemaker so I was hesitant to meet him, but we seemed to have a lot in common. He’s a tattoo artist and I went to art school. We were both getting sober. Him, for heroin and me, for alcohol and uppers.

We chatted about film photography so I suggested we meet at Echo Park Lake and take photos of each other. He picked me up in a grey Nissan Cube, and I…


My hospital bracelet

“How do I die without killing myself?” is a thought I have pretty regularly. Something painless and effective, because I guess I’m afraid of failure even in death. That question is also what I scrawled manically in my journal before I screamed for my roommates help on Thursday morning with a kitchen knife in my calf and a leather belt around my neck. I knew this method wouldn’t be effective for dying but at least someone would know I’ve been suffering and it’s more serious than I make it seem.

Its fucked up because part of my branding as a…

Mothica

Songwriter in LA. IG - @mothica TW - @dearmothica

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